Wishcasting: Health and Wellness

It's Wishcasting Wednesday so the gorgeous soul Jamie Ridler is inviting us to cast our wishes into the universe. This week Jamie asks, "What do you wish for your health and wellness?"

Jamie has this way of asking questions that at first glance may seem simplistic, but if you really think about them, you realize how big and revealing they really are.

This week has been rough... and it’s only Wednesday. My temper has been short and my bounce back has been long. By bounce back, I mean that period of time it takes to go from angry to content.

Like the stereotypical woman, I sometimes have trouble letting things go. Once I’m angry, I’m angry about every detail of every past instance of whatever it is.

For example, my teenager has trouble getting through his morning routine on his own. Monday morning was no exception. I’d had it. There was yelling. Lots of yelling. And it wasn’t just about Monday morning, it was about EVERY morning. Further, it was about everything I’d ever had to say more than once in any situation on any given day.

He finally made it out the door and I was still seething. My mind was racing, mostly in expletives. My body was jittery. It was barely 7:00 a.m. and it was a very bad day. Meanwhile there he was laughing with his friend on the way to school, like nothing had happened. The nerve.

And what, you may ask, does this have to do with health and wellness? Everything.

Did you notice how I said my mind was racing and my body was jittery? I had an actual physical response to a situation. A situation that I have relatively little control over. And for what? What good did it do for me to be that upset?

So, I wish to be in control of my own attitude. I wish to not get in the way of my own wellness.

How about you? What do you wish for your health and wellness?

Connection

I've been thinking a lot about connection lately.  I'm not as connected to people as I would like to be.  By people I am including many: my children, my husband, my extended family, friends, acquaintances (in person and online), restaurant servers, cashiers, passersby... you get the idea.

I spend too much time in my own mind, in a book, on my iPhone or iPad, and not enough time connecting to people.

This became particularly clear to me last week as I engaged with my baby boy while feeding him his jar of baby food.  He tasted the food, wrinkling his round little face for the first few bites while deciding how he felt about it.  Then he pressed his lips together and smiled.  He studied my face as I studied his.  I tickled his feet dangling from the high chair; he squealed with delight.

But, you ask, isn't that connecting?  To which I say, exactly!  I don't recall many other meals from last week.  Usually I scramble to feed myself at the same time or I pull out something to read between spoon feedings or I collect coins on Tap Zoo.

Tap Zoo... really?  Therein lies my problem.  I feel like I need to be busy, even if it's busy doing something stupid.  I've been programmed to multitask.  Most of us have.  If I'm not doing two things at once, I must be slacking off, right?  Wrong!  And I'll be honest, I'm really bad at multitasking.  It's definitely not something I'm meant to do.

So for today (as you may have seen earlier this week, I'm focusing on today because thinking longterm can be paralyzing) I'm paying attention.  Whomever is in my presence is my focus.  The reading can wait.  The devices can wait.  I want to truly see, listen, be attentive.  I want to be connected.

Do you have any tips?  How do you stay connected to people?  Are there places in your day where you might be able to better connect?  Leave a comment or send me a tweet @smhutchins.

Writing Is What I Used To Do Before I Was Afraid To Write

Since taking the leap and declaring myself Writer a few months ago, I wrote a short story and participated in NaNoWriMo during which I completed the first draft of a novel.

Since then? Hmm... well, there were a few blog posts here and there.

The Holdup

I could say work on my house (we’ve been reflooring). I could say I’ve been busy (there were the holidays, then getting back in to my older son’s school routine, a shifting nap schedule for the little one, meetings, appointments, etc.). I could say I’m waiting until I’m finished with Kristen Lamb’s Blogging for Brand course so I can do things “properly.”

I could say anything I want, but the fact of the matter is there is time to write. I can make time to write.

The truth is I’m afraid.

I’m afraid that I don’t like the middle of my completed novel and that I don’t know how to fix it. I’m afraid that I don’t know whether I should continue working on the NaNoWriMo novel or go back to my previously in process novel (for which I’m also afraid because I don’t know where it’s going). I’m afraid of conflict; I have trouble making bad things happen to good characters.

I’m afraid that if I blog, I won’t be able to write stories. I’m afraid if I write stories, I won’t be able to blog. And I like writing both.

I’m afraid that I will write crap and not realize it’s crap. I’m afraid I’ll get published and have all of my flaws ever be spread to the public. Did she really write that? Does she know proper grammar? Has she heard of plot? Did she really have braces for five years because she refused to wear the rubber bands?

I’m afraid that by writing posts like these, I’m not appealing to some future reader demographic.

I’m afraid that no one will read this.

What’s a girl to do?

Focus on the now.

Looking ahead causes panic. I still laugh thinking back to an example Christine Kane gave once about excuses- you can’t possibly write a song if you have nothing to wear to the Grammy’s.

Don’t I feel silly now.

If everyone stopped themselves from writing when they were afraid, we’d probably be left with only the sterile spewing of pompous know-it-alls.

We might find ourselves absent of anything to read with real emotion. Or maybe we would be just fine because I’m the only writer in the entire world who has ever been afraid. I doubt it, though.

Today I am focusing on today. That’s all. And today I say write anyway.

Inner demons, I banish thee back to hell. You’re not needed here.

Wishcasting: New Year

It's Wishcasting Wednesday so the gorgeous soul Jamie Ridler is inviting us to cast our wishes into the universe. This week Jamie asks, "What is your wish for the new year?"

I wish to write.  Fiction, blog posts, letters to friends, short tweets.  I wish for writing to be a regular part of my life, rather than a "when I have time and I'm not too tired."

I wish to show love.  Use kind words, understand, breathe before I get angry, hug, encourage, listen, trust, show grace.

I wish to keep making space.  Clear out the objects I don't use regularly or love.  I've been doing this for a while, yet there is more to be done.

I wish to notice.  There are many precious moments in any given day.  A child learning something new, sunlight on countertops, the smile of a loved one.  I wish to notice and revel in these moments.

What about you?  What do you wish for the new year?

I Am Not a Hoarder

Hoarder.  That word makes me cringe.  Did you ever watch the television show?  My husband and I did... once.  Neither of us could sleep for two full weeks, during which we purged a lot of things from our house.

A few days ago, my husband dared to utter the words, "You have a little hoarder in you."  Shock!  Horror!  Outrage!  How dare he?  I'm no hoarder.

"You do, too.  Have you seen your desk?" I said, feeling a little "I'm rubber, you're glue..." about it.

He didn't get shocked or outraged.  He simply said, "I know.  That's why I want to get rid of my desk... so I can't hoard things in it."

How annoying to be married to someone who makes level-headed responses like that (she says with a goofy smile).

Then a couple nights ago, he pointed to a plastic organizational bin in a seldom used room of our house.  "What's in there?  Because it looks like it might be full of garbage."

More shock!  More outrage!  Why is he picking on me?  That is my organizational bin full of important and useful things that I've had since my single days in my own apartment five years ago.  I mean, just two years ago I pulled an extension cord from that bin and it has been very useful.

Two years ago.  Hmmm.  Maybe it was worth the revisit.  In it were three of those little things you plug into an outlet to make it multiple outlets, instruction manuals to things I didn't need instruction manuals for, a set of coasters that hadn't been used since I moved in with my husband, a meat thermometer attachment that goes to my kitchen timer (I'd been looking for that for years and presumed it gone forever), and a tape measure.

Sigh.  

The meat thermometer went to the kitchen, the tape measure to the garage, and we got rid of everything else.  The empty storage bin is being banished to the attic until such point as it is needed for something actually useful.

I don't mean to hoard, but it seems I do without realizing it.  It comes in the form of keeping things that are or may one day be useful.  The problem comes in failing to reevaluate from time to time to see if those things are, in fact, still useful.

Tackling this syndrome is high on my goals list.  I'd like to enter 2012 with less than I have now and leave 2012 with even less.  It's time to get serious about purging.  In fact, as we tear apart rooms in our house one by one to put new flooring in, we will be ruthless about what is allowed back in the room. Everything else will go.  

No more "potentially useful" odds and ends.  It's either useful now or it isn't.  It fits in our life now or it doesn't.  

What about you?  Do you have any remnant items that need reevaluation?

How Can I Explain This Feeling?

My heart is racing, yet my body is calm.  I feel this inner excitement like somewhere inside I'm doing cartwheels and simultaneously I feel grounded and focused.

One voice is saying, "Way to go!  Look what you accomplished.  I knew you could do it." Another is saying, "Now, here is what must happen next if you really want to do this.  It's going to take a lot of work."  Both voices come from somewhere deep inside me.  I listen to both.

What is it that has me feeling this way?

I just printed my first novel.  Please humor me as I say that again.  I just printed my first novel.

A plain manuscript, three hole punched and inserted in a binder.  A mere 64 pages, double spaced.  Nowhere near long enough to be considered a novel.  At 15,328 words, it needs to more than double in length to work as a middle grade novel, which is what I am aiming for. It's crap, really.  Utter first time novel writer, first draft drivel.

It starts out with feeling, then quickly becomes robotic (and then this happened and then that happened and then she said something).

Mind you, I say that with the utmost love because it's something.  It's a start.  It has potential.  With some time and some work and some love, it will become something better than it is now.

The point is, a story is there.  A beginning, a middle, an end.  And I wrote it.  I wrote the story that was in my head, the story that came to me in the shower one day.  I wrote it beginning to end.

And now it's printed.  It's no longer just a blip on my screen that disappears when I walk away from my computer.  It's sitting there in front of me on paper in a binder awaiting the love I promised to give it.

Somehow now it's real.

Wishcasting: Celebrate

It's Wishcasting Wednesday so the gorgeous soul Jamie Ridler is inviting us to cast our wishes into the universe. This week Jamie asks, "What do you wish to celebrate?"

First, I wish to celebrate Jamie!  Today is her birthday.  I wish for her to have a day filled with magic, blessings, and unbridled joy!

Second, I wish to celebrate new friends, most of whom I met through some new mommy programs.  As adults, sometimes it's difficult to meet new friends, so I am thankful for the groups that brought us mommies together.

Third, I wish to celebrate my leap in to the world of writing fiction.  In September I completed a short story and submitted it to NPR for a short story contest.  Even though I didn't win, I'm still really proud of myself for having the courage to send a story out into the world.  In November I finished a (really, really short) novel.  It needs some major work before it will be presentable, but holy smokes, I wrote a novel!

There are so many more things I wish to celebrate... my loving husband, my intelligent teen, my wide-eyed baby.  After a couple of rough years, this has been a year of blessings.

I also wish to celebrate you! Thank you for being here. If you haven't already, please connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/sherrimhutchins and Twitter @smhutchins.  Once you're there, drop me a note to say hi.  I promise to say hi back.

What do you wish to celebrate?